disclaimer: in-story iwa moto is a work of fiction; meaning she’s not the real iwa moto, and she doesn’t talk and act like the real iwa moto. it just so happens that they have the same name and they are both actresses who are always handed sexy roles.

now, on to the story:

A STRING OF BAD LUCK.

karl tan was having the worst day of his life. he was just fired from his job at the hospital, for failing to report on a string of missing cadavers. and now he was in the middle of a store robbery. of all the rotten luck.

he took a deep breath, moved his upper body gingerly as not to make any noise. karl was hiding behind one of the shelves near the front of the store. if he moved just the right way, he could get out of the store without the goons noticing him in the surveillance mirror.

in karl’s mind, it was high time that fate gave him a break. and he was almost out of the store when the doors swung open for three people to come barging in, as if running for their lives. the goons quickly turned to look at the newcomers. and karl.

of all the rotten luck.

”putang ina, anong nangyayari dito?! (son of a bitch, what’s going on here?!)” one of the newcomers, a girl, exclaimed. karl thought he recognized the voice. he wanted to look at her, but one of the goons had its gun trained on him. karl gulped.

”hoy, mga putang ina kayo, ano sa tingin niyo ang ginagawa niyo? (hey, you sons of bitches, what the hell do you think you’re doing?)” the newcomer seemed fearless. karl admired her guts. he had to know why she sounded so familiar. and then one of the goons answered his question for him—

”’tol, (brother,)” the goon nudged one of its colleagues. “si iwa moto! (its iwa moto!)”

”ulol, (retard,)” his colleague replied. “hindi yan si iwa moto. bading lang ‘yan! (that’s not iwa moto. that’s just a gay impersonator!)”

”sinong tinatawag niyong bading? mga gago kayo, ha! (who are you calling gay? you jerks!”)” karl couldn’t contain his curiosity, and he looked. the newcomer really was iwa moto. karl’s eyes widened. maybe his luck is really turning around. but first—

”iwa moto? pa-autograph naman o! (iwa moto? let me have an autograph!)” the first goon said, grabbing a ream of bond paper and a pen from one of the shelves. iwa moto raised an eyebrow. as soon the goon was within striking distance, iwa moto let a high kick loose. the goon crumpled to the ground.

karl thought, i must be dreaming. this can’t be real.

karl was about to pinch himself when he heard a crash, and then felt a searing pain on his left arm. karl instinctively turned and saw a homeless bum enter through the shattered glass window. he backed away and bumped into iwa moto. she elbowed him away, thinking he was one of the goons (or a pervert), which brought him closer to the homeless bum.

a homeless bum who was missing an arm, and whose face was missing its right half.

”pusanggala! (stray cat!)” karl involuntarily gasped. “aswang! (monster!)”

iwa moto, her companions and the goons turned to karl and the homeless bum. in less than a minute, iwa moto grabbed one of the goons’ guns, pointed it at the homeless bum and made its head explode with bullets.

everyone turned to her. aghast.

”p-pina—pinatay mo yung mama! (y-you—you killed the guy!)” one of the goons managed to croak out. he pointed at the homeless bum who was now as still as a corpse on the ground. “bakit mo siya binaril? (why did you shoot him?)”

”may nakikita ba kayong mga halaman na makakapatay sa kanila? (do you see any plants that can kill them?)” iwa moto replied, cocking the gun in her hand. she pointed it at karl, and shouted, “yuko! (duck!)”

karl obliged. iwa moto fired two successive shots, and karl heard two thuds behind him. he turned and saw two more of the undead accompanying the first one, the one he thought was a homeless bum. he turned to look at iwa moto.

iwa moto just saved his life.

karl heard groans coming from behind him.

”ano pang tinitingin-tingin niyo diyan? barilin niyo na sila! (what the hell are you all looking at? shoot them!)” iwa moto shouted. karl ran towards the goons, seeking protection from the men with the firearms.

of all the rotten luck.